A desert road

Dear You,

You know what hurts the most ? it hurts me when you just don't know the cold war that I had to go through. The war where telling you the truth was my foe. I had to keep the secret down below. I was afraid and I didn't want to tell you the whole thing as words can become the most lethal weapon and I didn't want you to get hurt. Simply because I care about every single part of you, in every single moment.
You just meant a lot to me. I couldn't just reveal it to you... there are fears and everything must be considered ...
Now you know... Nature didn't want this to become true, or is it you ? Were you hiding it ? Were you pretending that you are not seeing anything ? Were you covering the fact that you know everything by ignoring all the signs I was showing ?
A lot of questions, to which I can only find one answer... but now that I don't care, I wouldn't ask for it... Now that I had to take another road, a very long road that crosses the desert, with pedal to the metal, with my packet of cigarette and a bottle of Johnnie Walker by my side...
Everyday you get to discover how much this world could be cruel and careless... I don't want to think about that any more...
I won't forget You as you had placed a red bullet in my heart, as you left your sweet smell on my hand... No I won't ...

Best regards...

Elle serait toujours là...

Sous la lumière des étoiles,
Je tapais sur mon clavier des mots,
des mots qui étaient l'origine de mes maux,
des mots qui étaient pour elle

J'écoutais un son étrange qui résonnait dans ma tête,
Un son merveilleux et inaudible qui me parlait,
Une musique de mots qui me transperçait,
Une mélodie que même les rois n'espéraient entendre dans leurs fêtes.

C'était elle encore une fois,
Elle voyageait avec la lumière de cette lune claire,
J'étais si convaincu qu'elle était là, je sentais l'odeur parfumé de sa chair,
Et me voilà, j'étais en train d'avoir ce rêve étrange encore une fois.

Ce qu'elle voulait m'était incompréhensible,
Ce que je voulais pourtant était utopique,
Elle était si belle avec ces lèvres angéliques,
Je voulais savourer cette créature mais c'était chimérique.

Je me contentais de jouir de sa beauté aveuglante,
Je regardais les faisceaux de lumière qui passaient à travers ses cheveux,
Je contemplais ses jambes, sa poitrine, ses yeux,
Cet ange me rendait ivre

J'allumais ma cigarette et je fermais mes yeux,
Tout disparaissait, dans le noir de ma tête
Sauf un bout de lumière subsistait...
Elle serait toujours là, au fond de mes rêves...

Punished

There comes the day when she chose to close all the windows
She hided the sun that was lighting my path
Blocked the air that I was breathing and that kept me alive
Only one cigarette is left in my pocket,
I lit it up and watched the smooth smoke spreading slowly around me

I was thinking, wondering ... how could such a beautiful creature become so mean
So mean that she stopped a heart from beating
Was it because of a mistake I made ?

Or was it because I was careless or without feelings ?
Because I haven't showed my love enough to you ? 

In a black storm you left me

In a dark world you dropped me 

I'm here with no light, with no heat
With no life...

But hope is still there...

Because I believe that God sent me an Angel
I can still hear your heart beats knocking on cold chest 

I can still feel your soft hair falling on my face

Until it vanishes

It seems that the storm won't go. I had to stay home under my wooden roof. I was listening to the continuous beautiful melody made by the hevay rain falling on top of it. I could tell that it understands my feelings, knows all of my deep dark secrets that nobody will know.
I was sitting at the table in front of the little window, looking at the black clouds moving smoothly over the mountains. My cigarette was lit, the smoke was all over the place. My eyes were burning and dropped a few tears. Whether it was because of the smoke or of an other reason, I didn't care... I didn't want to think about it.
I could still see her through that dark cloud, with those same beautiful eyes that stole my normal life... I could still hear her sweet words and soft voice though the scary sound of the thunder... I could still feel her wonderful warm touch over my cold hand...
I kept looking thourgh the glass of my window, where the rain drop were slipping, like it was crying... I took my cigarette, took a deep breath and got lost again in my thoughts... waiting for her to come back... while I was  waiting for the dark clouds to vanish... 

Missing my pen...

It's wonderful how the mind gets lost and then gets back. I've missed my pen. I was driven in another world. A world that I couldn't understand, a world that took everything I loved away from me.
The clock has stopped. I couldn't find any ink to use. My feelings got lost and couldn't get away. I was always thinking, wondering ... How could that happen ? I want to get out of this world full of lies and dirty classical minds that follow regular path just to please what have no value...
I've missed my pen.
It's just amazing how you get to know that you were in a long trip, a trip that you didn't know about. A journey to the emotional emptiness.
The light is back. I've found the ink, I've found my path....